Smiles of a Sumatra Night

Presents evidence delineating just how much nature shapes our emotional reactions. Studies on Americans' expressions of anger; Studies on the Minangkabau, a matrilineal, Moslem agrarian culture; Physiological changes; Physiological responses to emotions; Common ties of humanity.

In the longest-running debate on human behavior, nature and nurture have been duking it out for over a century, with nature getting an awful lot of decisions in the past decade or two. Now comes evidence delineating just how much nature shapes our emotional reactions.

When Americans create the expressions associated with anger and fear, the autonomic nervous system swings into gear and puts the body on alert, raising heart rate and altering skin temperature. To determine whether these changes are specific to Americans, and thus learned, or are part of a common inheritance, Robert Levenson, Ph.D., of Berkeley, and Paul Ekman, Ph.D., of San Francisco, headed off to West Sumatra. There they looked at people as different from us as you can get: the Minangkabau, a matrilineal, Moslem, agrarian culture that discourages displays of negative emotion.

Yet, when the Minangkabau were taught facial muscle contraction in order to mimic angry or fearful expressions, they registered the same physiologic changes - though they didn't feel the same way. No matter how different we seem, deep down we're all alike, observes the team in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Vol. 62, No. 6).

But if biological events turn out to be the same, subjective emotional experience is altogether different. "In our culture, we focus on the physiological sensations that happen when we feel emotions. This is in fact one of the most important aspects of emotion for us," reports Levenson. Ask an American what anger is and he'll tell you what he physically experiences when he is angry. But the Minangkabau didn't feel any emotions when they made the negative facial expressions.

"In their culture, the people are more entwined. Emotions define their relationships, not bodily sensations," explains Levenson. To them, anger is when a friend is mad at you, not how your body responds.

"Physiological responses to emotions are hard-wired into us; they're common for all people," says Levenson. "But what we do with that information is culturally variable."

published on January 01, 199

Love,

Abby

Sexy 7-Year Olds? by George Drinka, M.D.

With the media joining our families ever more intimately, it has become a common source of children’s sexual education. But how early should this education begin? Age 12? 11? 10? And how explicitly? In a recent article, we learn about a mother’s dilemma over a music video on YouTube whose lyrics go: “I got passion in my pants, and I ain’t afraid to show it, show it; I’m sexy and I know it.” The mom’s younger sister shows it to her children: a girl aged 7, and a boy, 10. The sister thinks this video is funny, not educational at all, and the kids laugh along—it’s only their mother who thinks it’s not funny.

The mother watches the video as a singer in the rock group shimmies around in a gold lace G-string, belting out the dicey lyrics. Fuming and flummoxed, she explores the Internet to discover that the world around her is crazy over this song: hundreds of YouTube videos feature kids under 10 dancing to these lyrics, while their parents record their gyrations and giggle behind their cameras.

Still, she is concerned this isn’t funny and way too suggestive. How to respond? First, she considers banning the song from her home but quickly anticipates that her kids will get upset with her, and they will only end up quarreling. Besides, they’ll find the video all the more enticing and go look for it elsewhere. Her next thought is to speak openly with her kids about its sexual content. But this tactic elicits blank stares, and, feeling embarrassed, she hesitates. At last, she gives up, deciding to ignore the incident and move on, but she’s still perplexed by the issue. What’s the right thing to do?

Perplexed myself, I too researched YouTube. On one site, I discovered the band performing on stage in underpants, with silly tongues protruding from comic mouths on their crotches. In another, a paunchy young man cavorts in underwear, sporting what seems a hard-on. In others, kids dance to the tune as their amused parents record it all. In one a baby in diapers rocks and rolls—I wondered, do diapers give a different meaning to “passion in my pants”? In still others, teen girls pantomime the hit in their bedrooms. In a pathetic rendition, very obese adults wriggle their flab and make light of the “sexy and I know it” lyric, as well as the later-appearing line, “I work out.”

In another twist, well-known animated figures dance and mouth the lyrics: Alvin and the Chipmunks, Homer Simpson, Peter from Family Guy, Sonic the Hedgehog, a few Sesame Street characters, and others. Now I could see more clearly why the mother was so confused: to the whole world, the song is a joke.

Slowly I perceived that humor was the central point. To the two kids, the image seemed goofy, silly, the stuff of comedy. When Peter in Family Guy does his thing to the lyrics, and Homer Simpson, drinking beer in underpants, lunges his torso, while SpongeBob Squarepants joins in with a few of his pals, and all the other comic figures thrust their pelvises to the beat, they elicit giggles and mirth. But is sex that humorous?

Laughter disarms us, but it also desensitizes us to the words: here sexual exhibitionism becomes a laugh. The daughter is only 7, and she’s learning about sex—only now, it’s funny. Since the mom doesn’t want to be a prude, she drops it, but her kids are imbedding sexually explicit words and gestures in their memory banks, even if they’re not sure what they’re saying or enacting.

George Drinka, M.D. is on the clinical faculty of the Oregon Health Sciences University.


Love,
Abby

Video Game Violence: Does Player's Personality Matter More Than the Game?

*Lisa has found that the online gaming community has given her a way to fit in despite the violence in some of the games. "Gamers have their own social networks, you know.Whether it's chat-room role-playing, Xbox LIVE or meeting for group D&D - it brings a whole new group of people into your life that you might know only tangentially." Lisa, like many teens, appreciates the online socialization factor as much as she does the video games – and she's not alone. A recent survey conducted by Pew Internet & American Life Project found that a whopping 99 percent of teenage boys and 94 percent of girls play video games on a regular basis.

If you're the parent of a teenager, then you probably already know about some of the hottest video games on the market and the time your teen spends playing them. Today's games are far cry from the archaic graphics of the Atari generation's Pitfall and Space Invaders. Video games today are highly interactive making them more fun, thrilling, and addictive than ever. The downside? Instead of running the risk of being eaten by alligators as you swing through the digital jungle, you may be blown up into a thousand pieces, decapitated, or brutally stabbed to death. The violence in today's gaming is bigger, badder, and more prevalent than ever before and so are the number of teens playing them.

For years, there has been an ongoing debate between parents and the media about the level of violence teens are exposed to in video games. Hot games like Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto VI, Halo, and Dead Space were all ranked by by PC Magazine in the top ten most most violent video games of all time. Chances are your teen either owns one or has played one of them before. But if you are worried that these games will turn your son or daughter into an homicidal maniac, then you can take refuge in the latest research that says it's not about the violence as much as it is about the player's personality traits.

The study published in the journal Review of General Psychology found an increased hostility in teens with certain personality traits such as those with low tolerance for agreeableness and conscientiousness and with extremely high neurotic tendencies. The researchers also found that it was not the violence in the video game that perpetuated violent behavior in some teens, but rather how their personalities tolerated and integrated the violent content of the video games. Interestingly, it was the competition in the games that had the most influence on aggression as opposed to the violent content. It's important to note that even with the latest findings, the potential risk still exists for some teens to become violent if their personality characteristics cannot integrate and process the 'competition' of the game in a healthy manner. However, the good news is that the study suggests a smaller percentage of teens may be effected than previously thought.

As gaming grows in popularity so does the debate over the impact of violence in video games on our youth. While this study certainly sheds light on how teens integrate violence into their personalities, there are other studies that dispute this finding. The bottom line? Most of us would agree that games like Grand Theft Auto IV isn't meant for young children and there aren't many parents who would support allowing their teen to play a game that involves assaulting a police officer. However, parents now have many tools and tactics at their disposal from software to websites to help cope with their teens taste in video drama. Trying to limit the amount of time and the content of what your teen plays can be difficult, but is well worth the vigilance. Likewise, talking with your teen about the violent content is also helpful regardless of how many times he smirks and rolls his eyes.

As disturbing as the extremely violent content in today's video games is, it reflects only a small part of a much larger social problem. We are a culture that breeds violence in all forms of the entertainment media – a fact that unfortunately won't go away any time soon.

Study says it's not about the video game, it's about the player. 

Love,

Abby

Exploring the Duality of the Gifted Teen: Why a teen's high IQ can be both a gift and a curse by Elizabeth Donovan, M.A.

"The hardest part about being a success is to continue being a success."
                                                                                - Raven, age 18.

At the age of eighteen, Raven Magwood is the exception to every rule. She's a published author, motivational speaker, filmmaker, junior in college, and former national gymnastics champion. It's safe to say that she's accomplished more as a teenager than most of us will in a lifetime. Raven carries with her the label of "gifted and talented" though she readily admits that all is not 'perfect' in her world. "On the one hand, it's great to know that other people recognize the potential significance I can have on the world. On the other hand it can be hard trying to live up to other individuals' expectations." Indeed. Exceptional intelligence is a double-edged sword for most kids, especially teens, who often find the pressure to succeed both intoxicating and suffocating. It is often the duality of these polar opposites that give smart teens the gift of success or the demise of failure.

The Perfectionist Self

The notion that the trajectory of smart teens is limited to an upwardly mobile platform with little struggle either academically, psychologically, or socially, is simply not true. Gifted teens are as likely to be plagued by low self esteem as other teens—perhaps more so. Research has shown that smart teens typically have a heightened sense of accomplishment and failure which means they are acutely aware of their own flaws and imperfections and often base their sense of worth on how others perceive them, as Raven did. "I remember in high school I would refuse to ask teachers questions for fear of being judged as 'not so smart' after all," she admits. "I always wanted to outdo whatever I had just achieved. I always wanted to be the successful person that others perceived me as."

Raven, like so many gifted teens, struggled with the constant pressure of having to be perceived as "perfect" by her teachers, peers, and even her parents. The problem with the constant pressure to be flawless—whether it's self-imposed or socially driven—can quickly morph into a psychological crisis as the gifted teen begins to see her self-worth defined strictly in terms of how she performs academically. The brutality of this realization can affect how teens not only view themselves, but it can create an unhealthy relationship with others as they try to constantly live up to the impossible bar that has been set for them.

Yet it's equally important to consider that the term 'perfectionism' can define both positive and negative personality characteristics. We so often jump to the conclusion that if our kids are perfectionists, they must exhibit extreme behavior that is "outside the norm." Not necessarily so. Gifted teens often got that way because of their careful attention to detail and their drive to be successful. It is this innate drive smart teens have that propels them to set goals for themselves and to live up to them. In Ellen Winner's, Gifted Children, she noted that "being a perfectionist could well be a good thing if it means having high standards, for high standards ultimately lead to high achievement (1996)." In most cases, exceptionally smart teens need a degree of perfectionism to succeed.

Existential Anxiety: Crisis of Meaning and Purpose

For adolescents, the teen years bring with them the intimate opportunity to explore thoughts, feelings, and their surroundings in an effort to find out who they are and who they want to be. The search for meaning in one's life is often felt more profoundly during adolescence when teens are trying to differentiate a healthy identity from facing the perils of Erik Erickson's role confusion. The search for purpose and meaning can be compounded for gifted teens who are typically more sensitive and self-aware than other teens, making them question their status in life more strongly and intensely. 

Pressures from the outside world albeit parents, school, friends, or societal standards make it paramount for gifted teens to quickly discover "who they are and who they want to become" in an effort to live up to the heightened standards set before them. The more they question issues, ideas, and the world around them, the greater their anxiety grows and the greater their chances are of internalizing these issues to the point of triggering severe anxiety or depression.

The upside? The sharp minds of our day have used philosophy and existential thought to further important causes for mankind. Socrates who dared to ask "Why, Why, WHY?" nurtured the cause for us to explore the inner depths of who we are and ultimately how we want to live our life—as have other genius minds such as Einstein, Stephen Hawking, and Marie Curie. The ability for smart teens to embrace deep existential questions and attempt to formulate answers may just put them one step ahead as they enter adulthood.

Social Awkwardness: Reality or Myth?

Like it or not, there is a degree of truth to the assertion that some gifted teens have difficulty socializing with others. I recently spoke with one of my friends, a GT middle school teacher, who offered her own unique perspective. "The teens I teach are brilliant and amazing," she said. "But the majority of them have some degree of difficulty socializing with others. I'd say at least half of them exhibit symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome. I had one student who insisted on sitting underneath his desk all year long. He'd get A's on every test, but could not bring himself to join the rest of the class socially." Brilliant, yes. Socially competent, no.

Certainly this is an extreme example of social awkwardness, but nonetheless one that demonstrates how some smart teens acquire their own set of behaviors that accompany their stellar IQ's. However, it's important to point out that the aspects that make many gifted teens unique are the same ones that make them geniuses. Some gifted teens may demonstrate a lack of social understanding but that does not mean they should be relegated to being treated like the stereotypical "mad scientist." In my practice I have treated gifted teens that had Asperger's Syndrome and those who have not and I can tell you that even though it may be challenging for some of them to socialize with others, they are every bit as capable as other teens of having meaningful relationships—the difference being that they must work a little harder to achieve them.

The Pressure to Succeed

One of the most prevalent assumptions about gifted teens is the notion that they must become  highly successful adults. This train of thought remains one of the most common misconceptions about gifted teens and narrowly defines success in terms of  reaching "Einstein" status. This expectation can place additional burdens on gifted teens that do not exist for the rest of the teenage population, creating anxiety and psychological chaos.

Gifted teens needn't become the next Secretary of State or Nobel Peace Prize recipient in order to fulfill their destiny. Notable British professor Dr. Joan Freeman, one of the leading experts on gifted children, recently published in her book Gifted Lives: What Happens When Gifted Children Grow Up (2010) that only about 25% of the gifted teens she studied went on to adult lives that matched the potential of their early promise. The rest of the gifted children became sidetracked by a combination of psychological and social factors such as: too much early pressure, mental or physical illness, and loss of drive. Yet Dr. Freeman found that many gifted children in this study went on to achieve personal goals and fulfillment with or without material benefit—suggesting that gifted teens should not be concerned about following career paths that are considered "beneath them" by society. In fact, their key to happiness may just be chosing a career that alleviates much of that pressure to be perfect that is thrust upon them.

What to do?

Helping your gifted teen succeed and derail the psychological pitfalls of their giftedness is something that every parent can help control. Gifted children are truly a dynamically wonderful group, but like all teenagers, their gifts comes with challenges. Practice this sage advice and watch your teen thrive.

1. Avoid "the parent trap." It's easy to get caught up in the pride you have for your extremely intelligent teen, but do not mistake pride for arrogance. It's important to remember that this is about your child, not about you. Kara Buntin, the mother of two gifted teenagers, has experienced firsthand how the pressure of parenting can harm teens. "Teenagers have a lot more academic pressure today than they used to and if parents push too much it's going to make any problems [they have] worse." She advises parents to make sure their own experiences and dreams do not cloud those of their teenagers.

2. Find a balance between encouraging and punishing. Gifted teens often put more pressure on themselves than any parent ever could, but nonetheless, as with any teenager, it's important to make the distinction between encouraging their academic success and punishing them for it. Some parents like Kara Buntin find it helpful to "tailor" their parenting efforts according to each teen's personality traits. For example, some gifted teens respond poorly when they get a bad grade and instantly want to punish themselves. As a result, they are more prone to anxiety and depression, making a parent's need to "punish" them obsolete. Others thrive when parents apply an appropriate amount of pressure to their academics and thrive from some stress.

3. Advocate for your teen's needs both academically and socially. Parents are always their child's biggest advocate. This is true regardless of whether or not your teen is labeled gifted. Yet some parents of gifted teens focus solely on their teens' academic success and fail to encourage their social success. Sherri Hale, mother of a gifted teen, became frustrated when she found it near impossible to find additional resources to help her teen socially. She soon realized that other parents were struggling with how to help their teens balance academics success with social and emotional maturity. "There is a misperception that gifted students don't have a need for resources devoted to success strategies, but the needs of gifted students are present, they just appear differently from other student populations," she says. This can be especially true in cases where gifted teens also are diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome where their social skills can be particularly weak and require additional resources.

Elizabeth Donovan, M.A., is a psychotherapist and writer. Her work has appeared in magazines including BabyTalk, Parents, and Parenting.

Friend Me: Surviving Popularity in the Age of Facebook

Everyone at school knows who she is - her beautiful face, light-hearted laughter, and unforgettable smile. She's the slender cheerleader that sports a poised and unassumingly confident smile amid her ruby red lipstick and long golden locks. She's also the one with the cool friends, hottest boyfriend, and the most Facebook friends. Ask any high school teenager who she is and they'll simply reply, "Oh, she's the popular one."

Like it or not, adolescence has always been a popularity contest. Anyone who has ever seen John Hughes 1985 flick The Breakfast Club, and more recently, American Pie, understands how the teenage social hierarchy can define a generation. High school has always been, and will always be, a constant barrage of mixed messages, innuendos, and heartfelt attempts to climb to the top of the social ladder. In fact, some teens are eager to do just about anything for a piece of the popularity pie. With the advent of the social network, that piece of pie just got bigger, bolder, and more accessible. The technological glitz, glamour, and hierarchical status built into Facebook is ripe for gossip and rebellion. Teens can post the latest trends, hottest parties, and exclusive hang-outs on their Facebook wall providing them with the perfect way to score points with their popular peers -- or fail miserably trying.

Friend Me:

"The internet isn't written in pencil...it's written in ink." (The Social Network, 2010)

Ask your teen what the catch-all term Friend Me means and she'll probably smirk at you and say you are way too old-school. The power of Facebook friending adds a new dimension to the complexities of the teen social scene by making it obvious who is in and who is out. It does so visually, interactively, and unapologetically by using the Internet to chart the success and failure of classmates. Popularity among teens is no longer an abstract rumor, it's a social fact. For many teens Facebook‘s friend list has become the golden opportunity to achieve acceptability from their peers. Unfortunately, being admitted the popular kids Facebook friend list -- or being left off of it -- has the ability to make teens feel like everything, or absolutely nothing at all.

Our nation shares a social hierarchy similar to that of high school adolescents. Institutions like the federal government and the military rely on a system that promotes order, obedience, and the opportunity for advancement or demotion. It also may include performance, intelligence, capability, and in some cases appearance and one‘s ability to successfully schmooze with the boss. It's who you know not always what you know that enables many social climbers to elevate themselves to the top. Popularity among high school teens operates under similar motivations. Popular teens promote kids that are attractive and socially superior while demoting the ones who they deem socially inept. It's no surprise then that Facebook, by default, has adopted the same social hierarchy, they've just managed to do it digitally.

Survival of the Fittest:

For the sake of Darwinians and biologists I should begin by pointing out that the term natural selection defines evolution more accurately than the populist term survival of the fittest, yet somehow naturally selecting the strongest and most popular to be at the top of the social pyramid simply doesn't seem to convey the fierceness and brutality of a teen's to rise to power. Genetics may play a part in our strength and ability to switch to survival mode, but as every teenager knows, being able to socially succeed in high school amidst the hormones and constant chaos occasionally requires an act of God -- or at the very least, a way to acquire the resilience and fortitude to rise above it.

If Darwin could see his theory play out in the lunchroom or on the computer screen perhaps he would be amused, but more than likely he'd be profoundly disturbed. Survival of the fittest may seem like an unlikely soul mate for popularity, but take a moment to consider a typical popularity contest that plays out in middle and high schools across the country every day. To rule the high school social scene, teens must figure out a way to thrive in their surroundings and then to elevate their social status. This includes a mandatory Facebook presence, and more important, demonstrating that they are qualified to popular in the first place. Take, for example, the prom queen whose beauty, intelligence, and personality -- no doubt products of natural selection -- place her at the height of the social pyramid. To maintain her social status, she needs to connect with as many social climbers as possible and steer clear of teens that she or others in her inner circle deem unworthy. Posting pictures, notes, and socially exclusive facts on her Facebook wall ensures that everyone will take notice of her importance and exclusivity. However, when kids at the bottom of the social ladder try to friend her they are often rejected, which can cause anxiety, depression, and other psychological distress. Even worse, if this Facebook rejection is also done with malice or bullying tactics, it can severely damage a teen's self esteem.

Is there a way to stop survival of the fittest online? Not really. School buses and social networks have become the animal kingdom gone array: Eat or be eaten. Kill or be killed. Bully or be bullied. Get popular or die trying. If evolution has taught us anything, it's that to survive in a dog-eat-dog world, teens must learn to not only protect themselves, but to be proactive in their quest for happiness and success, a task that is easier said than done in the digital age.

What Popularity Means and What It Does Not:

Popularity is unfortunately a necessary evil and the social hierarchy created by it a formidable distraction. Yet the ongoing struggle for popularity does not mean that we allow teens to be bullied, abused, mistreated, or otherwise harmed. When popularity contests turn ugly and abusive, as they often do, science takes a back seat to humanity. Socializing on Facebook is one thing, but demoralizing and humiliating others is another.

Teaching teens to fight the good fight and to know when to walk away is paramount to their self-esteem and mental well-being. Building healthy self-esteem requires adolescents to be able to take on new challenges, opportunities, and to achieve some degree of success. Not everyone can be popular, nor should they try. As we travel through life, popularity is simply a distraction along the way. It is not an accurate measurement of how teens will mature into adults. Many unpopular kids with the most humble and traumatic beginnings have found ways to become leaders and to live rich, meaningful lives. For teens, success in the online social climate should not focus on how many Facebook friends they have, but instead, on the quality of the friendships they do have.

Elizabeth Donovan, M.A., is a psychotherapist and writer. Her work has appeared in magazines including BabyTalk, Parents, and Parenting.

Love,

Abby

Aplikasi Visa Kunjungan Keluarga ke Jerman

Saya ingin berbagi sedikit info mengenai apilaksi Visa kunjungan saat mengunjungi kakak saya di Bremen pada bulan lalu. Saya berangkat dengan papa saya menggunakan Emirates untuk 2 minggu. Karena saya berusia di bawah 18 tahun, maka saat proses aplikasi Visa Schengen ke Germany Embassy di Jakarta, mama saya juga ikut hadir.

Langkah-langkah dan syarat-syarat yang diperlukan adalah:
1. Membuat Termin/jadwal di Deutsche Botschaft. Jangan lupa bawa print-out jadwal ini, karena satpam Embassy akan menanyakannya, dan yang pasti jangan lupa bawa Paspor harus masih berlaku minimal 3 bulan setelah akhir rencana kunjungan di wilayah Schengen.

2. Wajib hadir! Tidak bisa diwakilkan, karena sidik jari pemohon akan diambil langsung, dan sidik jari tersebut akan disimpan selama 5 tahun.

3. Pemohon usia di bawah 18 tahun harus datang dengan kedua orang tua. Bagi yang orang tuanya bercerai atau meninggal dunia, ada ketentuannya sendiri, silahkan cari infonya langsung ke Kedutaan yaa ;)

4. Masing-masing pemohon mengisi (terlebih dahulu di rumah) 2 rangkap Formulir Permohonan Visa Schengen dan juga 2 rangkap Formulir Lembar Pemeriksaan Hukum. Diisi dengan menggunakan huruf balok dan tinta hitam/biru dan pastikan tulisan mudah untuk dibaca ;)

5. Foto biometris berwarna dengan latar belakang putih atau abu-abu muda, ukuran 3,5cm x 4,5 cm. Wajah harus sebesar 80% dari ukuran foto. Contoh fotonya. 1 foto ditempel di formulir permohonan visa sebelah kanan atas dan 1 foto disisipkan.

6. Asuransi kesehatan perjalanan harus dibuat untuk perjalanan ke negara Schengen dengan ketentuan yang bisa dilihat pada link Asuransi Perjalanan Visa Schengen berikut ini. Saya kemarin dapat langsung dari biro travel perjalanan tempat saya mem-booking tiket.

7.  Siapkan tiket perjalanan pergi dan pulang tentunya. Jangan dibayar lunas dulu tiketnya, cukup sekedar booking, karena pihak Embassy tidak ingin pemohon rugi kalau sampai nanti visanya ditolak padahal sudah bayar lunas tiket pesawatnya :)

8. Demikian juga jika pemohon berniat tinggal di Hotel saat berada di negara wilayah Schengen, cukup booking dulu, jangan dibayar lunas ;)

9. Baik jika pemohon mendapatkan Obligation Letter alias Verpflichtungserklärung (surat undangan resmi yang dibuat oleh pengundang di Kantor Imigrasi kota setempat).

10. Bukti keuangan yang jelas untuk melakukan perjalanan. Jika pemohon mendapatkan Verpflichtungserklärung maka surat ini sudah merupakan jaminan keuangan bahwa pemohon akan 'aman' saat berada di Jerman dan pulang lagi ke Indonesia. Namun, pada kasus saya kemarin walau kami mendapatkan Verpflichtungserklärung, papa saya tetap mempersiapkan berkas-berkas bukti keuangan. Daripada nanti pas sudah di Embassy malah ditanya ini itu, tapi tidak siap :D sangat penting memang untuk berjaga-jaga seperti ini daripada nantinya harus bikin Termin lagi karena mengurus ulang. Yang papa saya siapkan kemarin adalah slip gaji 3 bulan terakhir dan rekening tabungan 3 bulan terakhir.

11. Siapkan surat yang menyatakan bahwa pemohon bekerja dan bersekolah di Indonesia. Ssurat keterangan kerja bagi papa saya (surat cuti dengan keterangan tanggal perjalanan dan surat yang menyatakan bahwa papa saya bekerja -dan akan kembali ke Indonesia untuk bekerja). Dan karena saya masih bersekolah, maka saya juga mendapatkan surat ijin dari sekolah, saya juga melampirkan fotokopi kartu OSIS saya :D

12. Akte Kelahiran saya, karena saya berusia di bawah 18 tahun dan akan melakukan perjalanan dengan papa saya.

13. Fotokopi KTP dan Paspor kedua orang tua saya dan kehadiran kedua orang tua saya di Embassy.

14. Karena tujuan saya ke Jerman adalah kunjungan keluarga, maka dari itu diperlukan juga bukti atas hal ini. Saya melampirkan KK (Kartu Keluarga) dan juga Akte Kelahiran kakak saya (hasil scan yang diprint warna, karena Akte aslinya ada di Jerman).

15. Membayar jasa permohonan visa, masing-masing €60 yang akan dikonversikan ke dalam Rupiah sesuai Kurs yang berlaku saat transaksi dilakukan.

16. Menanti 3 hari untuk mendapatkan jawaban Visanya jadi atau tidak. Puji Tuhan, saya dan papa saya hanya menanti sehari saja :D sore hari berikutnya sekitar jam 3.30 sore, Papa saya mendapatkan telepon dari Embassy bahwa Visanya 'besok' bisa diambil.

17. Saat akan mengambil Visa, jangan lupa bawa surat kuning (ehh, bener ga yaa warnanya, kok lupa? :D) yang membuktikan bahwa kita sudah selesai aplikasi Visa dan bisa dijadikan bukti untuk pengambilan Paspor (Visa).

Kecuali Formulir yang dari Embassy, semua berkas difotokopi 2 rangkap, kalau saya, saya fotokopi 5 rangkap semua :D cadangan boookkk! :D dan tetap bawa dokumen aslinya yaa ;) Di Embassy tidak ada jasa fotokopi lho yaa, kalau mau fotokopi harus ke luar dulu. Dan malah buang waktu, jadi mending siapkan semua berkas sekomplit mungkin dari rumah ;)

Oiya, saat datang ke Embassy, harus lewat pos Satpam dulu. Barang bawaan kita akan diperiksa, gadget harus tinggal di pos Satpam. Yang boleh dibawa yaa hanya yang kita perlukan saja. Makanya jangan bawa tas besar atau yang ribet-ribet ga penting, karena bakal lama diperiksa juga :D Satpamnya ada 2, 1 perempuan, 1 laki-laki, dan ramah-ramah kok, pengalaman saya kemarin sih begitu :) dan kalau bisa datang minimal 30 menit sebelum Termin, karena kalau ada yang kelupaan di fotokopi bisa fotokopi dulu :D pakai topi atau payung kecil juga bagus :D cadangan saat terik atau malah mungkin hujan ;) siap juga air minum atau snack, lumayan buat lega-legain tenggorokan and ganjel perut kalau pas ngantri masuk Embassy :D ;) Bagian Visa itu di lantai 2, kalau lihat ruangan di bawah begitu kita selesai di periksa di pos Satpam, cuekin aja :D bukan itu tujuan kita, itu ruang buat konsultasi. Loket Visanya ada di lantai atas ;)

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Ini Visa Schengen saya

Verpflichtungserklärung dari Jerman

Sekian sharing saya ;) Semoga bermanfaat ;)

Salam,

Abby <3

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: Youth Narcissism and Us

We are home to an increasingly narcissistic generation, it is true. Increasingly prevalent empirical data, like that shared by Dr. Jean Twenge in her recent PT blog, back up what we all know and suspect: today's generation of kids are more narcissist than previous generations. Although the empirical validation is useful, such studies simply quantify the obvious. Like anyone who spends time in public or around youth, I see it daily: students whose faces are hidden by the screen to which they are slavishly devoted even in the presence of engaging real life life events; students whose papers chronicle their mental breakdown in response to the temporary "hospitalization" of the computer on which they believe they must depend to stay connected with others (and themselves); the recurrent sense of fear and dread experienced by interviewees in my study of non-suicidal self-injury that emerge in response to moments most of their elders cherish - free time alone with a book, a bedside lamp, and several hours of nothing else to do.

Alongside the cultural commentaries which proliferate on the subject of the technological contributions to youth self-absorption come a series of other concerns, such as Harvard Psychiatrist Dr. John Ratey's contention that the modern obsession with technology may be physically rewiring youth brains into patterns consistent with what he calls "acquired attention deficit disorder." Dr. Elias Aboujaoude, director of Stanford University's Impulse Control Disorders Clinic at Stanford University, agrees. In a Nov 15 interview reported in the San Francisco Chronicle, Dr. Aboujaoude comments, "The more we become used to just sound bites and tweets, the less patient we will be with more complex, more meaningful information. And I do think we might lose the ability to analyze things with any depth and nuance. Like any skill, if you don't use it, you lose it."

All of this is true (and I am as much of a handwringer as my colleagues), except for this fact: the mirror into which our youth gaze reflects the dreams, innovations, and human agency of their elders. Adolescents and young adults are hardwired to observe, internalize, and capitalize upon the success narratives of the societies in which they live. Although serious consumers and users of technology, the technological advances that youth consume with such fervor were developed by adults and reflect the collective vision of their forbearers. It is also adults that have so successfully identified and created the adolescent market; some of the best adolescent development specialists in the world are employed by marketing companies. Since it is amidst the norms and values passed down, sculpted, and re-sculpted by adults that youth develop, they serve as perfect cultural mirrors - the narcissism we think we see in our youth is merely a reflection of us.

If for no other reason than this, study of contemporary youth pathology would be best served through empirical investigation of their elders. And yet, it is not enough to turn the microscope on ourselves, for that simply extends the "who is to blame" game began when Socrates wrote 400 years ago, "Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority, they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers."

We need hope. Here is where I find it: After a lecture on technology as a context for development last year, one of my students ended his lamentation on the dire implications of technology addiction with these thoughts, "Behind all my dark cynicism is a glowing optimism...Technology has made us accomplished in the textual and academic, but ignorant of the natural and spiritual. I believe that wires are strangling America's youth. But, air has always been free. All one needs to do is go outside, and breathe. I will do that now." In these words I see my student's agency, his free will, his capacity for the development of wisdom through the most uniquely human trait: the capacity for self-reflection. We may be infatuated with the two dimensional representation of self that is tweeted, IM'd, and facebooked back to us in lightning fast time, but we will inevitably tire of this too - for it will not satisfy the longing to connect with our deeper self, what my student identifies as the "natural and spiritual."

And, equipped with the consequent teachings of this age, we will discover, once again, that which brain scientist Bruce Perry and colleagues now espouse in place of the "use it or lose it" paradigm to which Dr. Aboujaoude refers. We will discover that human beings and brains are much more plastic than we thought. When our individual and collective success demands that we concentrate on something for longer than 4 seconds, our youth will be the first to lead us out of the tweeting age and into the next age - whatever it may be.

Janis Whitlock studies, writes, and teaches about adolescent mental, social, and emotional health and development at Cornell University.

Love,
Abby